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[00:00:00] Speaker A: The views and opinions expressed by the no nonsense show and its host do not necessarily reflect views consistent with political correctness or the rare sonics podcast network. So to get the show started right, we want to wish any officers of the sensitivity police a heartfelt fuck you.
[00:00:13] Speaker B: So, um, we got Rio back in the building.
[00:00:16] Speaker C: What's up, Rio?
[00:00:16] Speaker A: What up, though?
[00:00:18] Speaker B: It's, uh, poli sci major. Like what?
[00:00:20] Speaker D: I mean, poli sci major.
[00:00:21] Speaker A: Poli sci.
[00:00:23] Speaker D: Do you know what poli sci is?
[00:00:24] Speaker B: Right?
[00:00:27] Speaker C: Political science.
[00:00:27] Speaker D: Science, yeah. When you say poli sci majors. Political science.
[00:00:30] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:00:30] Speaker C: Yeah, but that's not what we talking about.
[00:00:31] Speaker A: Not what we're talking about at all.
[00:00:33] Speaker B: It's a different science.
[00:00:34] Speaker A: Well, it might be.
[00:00:35] Speaker C: It might be.
[00:00:35] Speaker A: You could.
[00:00:36] Speaker D: It is political. Yeah, it is a political aspect. Is it?
[00:00:40] Speaker B: Is it? I don't know how so french reg.
[00:00:42] Speaker C: I was gonna say. Okay, go ahead.
[00:00:44] Speaker D: Yeah, I think as we continue to progress in this society, when they say, like, over 50% of women from 20 to 44 will be single in x amount of years, I think from a political standpoint, poly lifestyle will come into play because there'll be just like in african countries where certain guys of elite status can have multiple wives. I think in America, we'll see that in the next 2030 years.
[00:01:09] Speaker C: Yeah, but isn't that bullshit?
[00:01:27] Speaker A: You are listening to the no nonsense show. 10% less bullshit than any other podcast.
[00:01:33] Speaker C: Guaranteed that whole african guys can have multiple. Isn't that bullshit?
[00:01:38] Speaker D: Certain elite guys.
[00:01:39] Speaker C: But that's not a utility. I think that's bullshit.
[00:01:42] Speaker D: Right?
[00:01:42] Speaker C: They pretend like it's a utility. They pretend like the reason why, it's because of such a shortage of women and men have all the money. Why not just give women money?
[00:01:48] Speaker B: And I don't see what French Reggie's talking about as far as, like, the progression of women getting to the point now, you know, Rio may be able to speak on a little bit different, but I don't. I don't think that the. The average woman is willing to be like, okay, I'm okay sharing like that. Like, I'm willing to think that this is a progressiveness.
[00:02:08] Speaker D: They already are sharing.
[00:02:09] Speaker B: Okay, what do you mean?
[00:02:11] Speaker C: Without them knowing, though, right?
[00:02:12] Speaker B: So what are you saying, though? What, you money share?
[00:02:14] Speaker D: No, I'm talking about elite level guys. I'm not talking about regular niggas just. Or niggas that are just.
[00:02:19] Speaker C: Why is that. Why is that the idea that elite dudes, financial guys. Cheaters.
[00:02:23] Speaker D: Not necessarily cheaters.
[00:02:24] Speaker B: Not cheaters, not monogamous.
[00:02:27] Speaker D: They're just not monogamous because the women. Cause Jamie Mack don't believe the women will be down for that. The women are willing to look past that because, hey, 20,000, right.
[00:02:37] Speaker B: The benefit of what they're getting. I get that.
[00:02:39] Speaker D: No, so what I was saying is, from a political standpoint, just like how we saw gay marriage become a political thing and needs now approved, I think, down the line, because there's gonna be so many single women and women only like the top ten, 5% of men anyway. Those niggas gonna have that leader. Those niggas gonna be able to have, hey, I can marry four girls and they're gonna break that law.
[00:02:59] Speaker B: So I think that, sure, rich niggas have always been able to have side bitches and shit like this. Because again, in their women have put up with it. Because again, if not, you get put out, right? Like, if you wanna argue about this or if you wanna, you know, make it an issue, then you'll just get x out and you get nothing. So then therefore, yeah, you'll. You'll deal with it. But that's not the same as poly, bro. And I don't think. Because again, I don't think that they're okay with it. I think they accept. What you're talking about is an acceptance, right. I think I'm going to trade off my. My lifestyle, my luxury, my. What I'm afforded by being with this rich dude to overlook the. The side bitches and the mistresses and all this other shit that they go through.
[00:03:44] Speaker D: So what I'm saying is, because more and more women will be single. They'll be more willing.
[00:03:50] Speaker B: Where are you getting this from? First off, the numbers.
[00:03:53] Speaker D: The numbers are saying that.
[00:03:54] Speaker B: The numbers just can.
[00:03:55] Speaker D: Just google it. In the next x amount of years, the adult aged women, 50% of them are gonna be single. They're true.
[00:04:02] Speaker B: Why?
[00:04:03] Speaker D: Cause they just don't like the dudes that are out there. They're independent women. They don't.
[00:04:07] Speaker B: So what does that mean for the dudes? Where are the dudes going?
[00:04:09] Speaker D: You gotta get your money up so.
[00:04:11] Speaker B: You can be the type of nigga. That's not it.
Everybody can't go up.
[00:04:16] Speaker D: All right, let me just finish my point, okay? That's why you don't even like there's.
[00:04:19] Speaker B: Gonna be a bunch of gay niggas.
[00:04:20] Speaker D: Then there might be some. I don't know. But what I'm saying is, because that's gonna be the norm. The women who, it's not like they won't mind. They will actually be okay with dating a guy that has multiple women. And they'll be fine because that guy's helping them take care of their bills or whatever, because they can still have a piece of that guy when they want. So that would. And they don't even want to deal with the guy all the time because they independent women or they whatever. They want to be single in a little bit. So that's what I was saying, that it's going to be.
[00:04:46] Speaker B: You saw this on what now?
I'm just asking my nigga.
[00:04:50] Speaker D: I'm just.
[00:04:51] Speaker C: You fucking with him?
[00:04:52] Speaker D: Yeah. For real?
That's all I was saying.
[00:04:56] Speaker B: Whether they want to or not is fact. I know. You googled it, right?
[00:05:00] Speaker D: I'm not even making it. I'm just saying this is. It's already happening. You see rich niggas with eight baby moms, and they fine. They all get along. Nick Cannon is a proof of that. Like, women are volunteering.
[00:05:10] Speaker A: That's not Polly.
[00:05:11] Speaker C: That's not Polly. And that's what I think Mack was.
[00:05:13] Speaker D: But what I was trying to say about political aspect of it, because of a. Example like Nick Kennan, they'll make it become a political thing where now, Nick Kennan, instead of just having eight baby moms, you have eight wives.
[00:05:23] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:05:24] Speaker D: And that's all I was trying to say.
[00:05:25] Speaker C: Okay?
[00:05:25] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:05:26] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:05:27] Speaker C: You don't agree with that, Mac?
[00:05:29] Speaker B: Not really.
[00:05:29] Speaker C: Why?
[00:05:29] Speaker B: I mean, because if it's. If it's about leveling up, right?
And then he's saying, well, then, nigga, you gotta level your game up. Right? Like, well, everybody can't be at the top. That's just impossible. Like, everybody. So.
[00:05:42] Speaker C: But if that's. Is it possible then that the lower people won't get sex?
[00:05:46] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:05:46] Speaker B: Then that's what I'm. That was my next question. Like, what happens to these sex workers are gonna. What happens to these lower niggas?
[00:05:52] Speaker C: What do you think the world has become? What have you. What have you witnessed around.
[00:05:56] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:05:56] Speaker C: Do you not see that there's a shift in men's ability to kick game even? Or to.
[00:06:02] Speaker B: No. Yeah.
[00:06:03] Speaker C: You see what I'm saying? Like, there's a lot of evidence without the stats that French brought up. Just the fact that women make videos of guys seeing them in the gym and then post that as if. Look how creepy guys are. Just the fact that that's even happening is proof that there are some women, maybe nothing, but there are some women who feel like dudes are disgusting. And there's, like, I don't even want to be involved.
And because of that, a lot of younger guys have gotten to the point where they don't even want to approach women. They're like, you know, it's just not even worth it. Because if I'm going to be a creep just because I say I like you or if I'm thirsty because I come up to you and say you're pretty, fuck you and all y'all. Not just you, but fuck all y'all.
[00:06:38] Speaker B: No, for real, because, you know, my son and his homeboy, right, his homeboy is a girlfriend, and he brought over, and I was like, y'all different. Because the first thing that if my homeboy, as soon as he got with a girl, the first thing I asked was what she got any friends? Like, I mean. I mean, like, I didn't know where.
[00:06:57] Speaker C: You were going, bro.
[00:07:04] Speaker B: I would have liked to have seen.
I was waiting, like, am I, like, coming up, right? Coming up, though, right? The whole, we got. He like, you, I just met this new chick and, you know, she this, that, and the other. Yeah, that what you didn't.
She got any friends, right?
[00:07:28] Speaker C: Dude, I just had no idea, cuz.
[00:07:29] Speaker A: That wasn't always the case. If everybody wasn't looking right, though, cuz I don't. Sometimes your boy bring home a dud. You like, oh, right.
[00:07:36] Speaker B: No, not for the dud, but. But if she bad, you know. Yeah, she got, she got some friends.
[00:07:42] Speaker A: Yeah, but you got to make sure this is distinction.
[00:07:44] Speaker B: It is a distinction because, listen, I ain't gonna lie. Listening. Make that air back in the day, like, as a teenager, be like, what's she. Listen, so what you.
And so in he, in his. He didn't even. He's never even approached that status. Like, he's never even asked that question. My son is like, your girl ain't got no girl. Like, you know, I'm saying it's. It's easy work, right? Like, we talked about the reference, you know, dating and shit like that. Like, you know, I mean, like, if I don't even have to go out and try to meet someone brand new, this is the thing. Like, your friend is my friend or, you know, you guys are friends and then me and him are friends. This seems like an easy, you know.
[00:08:20] Speaker D: Easy matter, especially if they're already hanging out, right?
[00:08:23] Speaker B: So that was the thing. But that's not something that today that I see him and his friends doing. They don't, they don't be at, you know, hey, your girl ain't got no girl. You know, I mean, none of that shit. So I don't know. Yeah. To point your. To prove your point, I guess. Be honest. That, yeah, there is definitely a.
[00:08:40] Speaker D: And it's connected. It's become very transactional nowadays.
[00:08:43] Speaker C: What has?
[00:08:43] Speaker D: The whole dating aspect. I'm good, Mac.
[00:08:46] Speaker B: That's fine. No, this is all.
[00:08:47] Speaker D: I guess it always has been, but now it's very, like, transactional. Like, off rip. It's like. No. Like, element of. Just romance.
[00:08:55] Speaker C: It's just when you say a word like, transaction, what do you mean? Just get.
[00:08:58] Speaker D: Give people an idea what you pretty much like. If you are dating a girl now, she's expecting a bill to be paid within the first 30 days.
[00:09:08] Speaker C: Oh, her bills? Yeah, her independent bills. For her stuff?
[00:09:11] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:09:11] Speaker B: Okay, well, see, that goes back to what you were saying about, you know, this. You know, they're okay dating rich guys. That's the. I think that's that same mindset again. It's. It's basically like.
[00:09:23] Speaker D: So they're saying, if you can't pay my bills, what soft? Hoenn, I fuck with that nigga.
[00:09:28] Speaker B: Is this like soft towing? Right? Basically, it's like, without a pimp. Like, I'm not. I'm not.
I'm not opposed to being your girl or doing whatever the fuck. If you got money and you're willing to pay certain aspects or make things in my life a little bit easier type of deal. That ain't to me. And we can get to the expert here in a minute. That ain't Polly.
[00:09:50] Speaker D: We're not saying.
[00:09:51] Speaker C: Nobody's saying it is.
[00:09:52] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:09:53] Speaker C: I think we've already. We already.
[00:09:54] Speaker A: Here's the problem.
[00:09:54] Speaker C: Here's why I would say definitely.
[00:09:56] Speaker D: We are just saying why Polly will become a thing.
[00:09:59] Speaker B: See, that don't.
You can't say that's why Polly will become a thing and then say that. You're not saying that's Polly. That's.
[00:10:05] Speaker A: So.
[00:10:05] Speaker D: This is what I'm saying. If more and more women are saying, why do I need to date you? Yes, you cute. Yes, you funny. Yes, you make me feel good. But you ain't paying a bill. Why do I need to date you? Back then a nigga that was funny and cute could keep a girl. So that shit don't work no more.
[00:10:19] Speaker C: I think that the problem here is French is talking from a place of hurt.
[00:10:23] Speaker D: No, no, no.
[00:10:24] Speaker B: I mean, you're getting a little. You're getting a little. No, no.
[00:10:26] Speaker C: I'm not saying you're hurt. I'm saying you're talking about this from a place of hurt. There's a generational hurt.
[00:10:31] Speaker D: Yeah, there's a generation of hurt.
[00:10:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:10:33] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:10:33] Speaker C: And you're talking from that perspective, whereas poly pre existed all that. And I believe poly lifestyle solves a problem, whereas cheating on your girl or paying for a transactional date, that doesn't really solve a problem. That is just a transaction after it's over. There's nothing there.
[00:10:50] Speaker B: Soft hoeing.
[00:10:51] Speaker C: But I don't exactly know what problem Polly solves.
[00:10:56] Speaker D: Definitely solves an economical problem, because now you're economics. Yeah. Group economics.
[00:11:00] Speaker A: But there's. Okay. None of what we're talking about right now.
[00:11:04] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:11:04] Speaker A: Is poly in any way, shape or form. These are all dynamics of dating and ebb and flow that's happening with modern day technology, porn, you know, dating apps, all that women. Women getting, you know, better positions and jobs and working more money. So all these are factors that are happening. But Polly itself is something totally different. School talking about. So polyamorous is having multiple relationships with open and honesty and communication.
Everything that we're bringing up honestly would not suit a poly relationship, because, for one, both individuals, the male and the female, for talking opposite sex, if you're talking same sex, two men or two women, whatever, because it probably goes with any.
You have to be able to come from a place of knowing yourself as. As best as you can, being willing to be vulnerable and be upfront in the beginning across all dynamics.
[00:12:03] Speaker D: Well, you gotta be vulnerable to be.
[00:12:04] Speaker B: Upfront, though, because you have to say meaning. He was about to say meaning.
[00:12:09] Speaker A: Oh, because. Because you have to be able to, first off, be willing to be hurt, if you will. All right. You know, in a sense, because. How can I put it?
When I go into relationship, I let a woman know off top. Let me speak from my perspective. It's coming from me. So I can't speak for everybody in the poly life, but what I've. How I've dated and how I've done for the past decade when I meet a woman, is to let her know I like women with women. I don't like men. Right? I like women. And so I like women who like women. Now, you can be bisexual, or you can be curious, preferably. I prefer you to be bisexual. Having a real interest in a woman, that's my thing.
[00:12:54] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:12:55] Speaker A: That's what I come into the first date, letting a woman know. My friends always say, my boys always say I'm too aggressive in the very first meeting, because if I see I like a woman, I. Look, my name is Mark. I'm Polly. I like women. Women. Do you like women? That's my first thing. Right? Okay.
I'm not saying that to be extra or to be aggressive is just my honesty. I want that way she can make her decision if she wants to be involved with me.
[00:13:19] Speaker B: Ain't no situation.
[00:13:21] Speaker A: Exactly. So to kind of piggyback off of what fast forward or go back to what you were saying earlier about everything is transactional. Now, I think part of that is because women have, along with other factors, and then you guys can speak on this, you know, if. Correct me, right, if I'm wrong, but I think because women have, over the years, watched their mothers over the past 30, 40 years be, you know, go in and out of relationships or, you know, struggle with finances and stuff like that, they've come to a point now where they're like, look, if I'm gonna be in this relationship with you, I'm gonna get straight to the point. I need to be able to, you know, provide. And if you can't show what you can provide, even with the basic dating or some of my little bills, I need to notice off top. Right? Is she writing that? I don't know, but that's how they delivering it. Okay. Cause you could say I'm wrong from the standpoint of me being the heterosexual man that I am, you know, and being an alpha that I am, to tell a woman in my very first meeting, but I already know you have some kind of attraction to me. So I'm just letting you know so you can make a decision. This is the type of nigga you gonna be fucking with right now. I'll still take care of my part, you know what I'm saying? And I've evolved to where if she is into other dudes, I'm okay with that as long as you tell me that's another part that I've evolved, too.
[00:14:31] Speaker B: That has to be part of the poly, right?
[00:14:33] Speaker A: It doesn't have to be. That's the part. Polly is being open and honest and communicative. When I say the vulnerable side is as a man. A lot of men are afraid of another man being with your chick. Right, right. Okay. And respect the issue that I've grown into over the years. Most of the bitches I like. Excuse me, most of the women that I like, and I don't mean but in a bad way, most women I like, they're gorgeous women. Right, right. They're very attractive. And they've been with a lot of men, probably before me. Right. I've been with a lot of women. So I think it's kind of, you know, contradictory of me or kind of, you know, two faces of me to be like, hey, stop fucking these n and fuck with me. Right? And I also learned, too, the psychology of it is, if you tell a child not to touch something, they go do it. Right. If I tell a woman she has the right to go do it, you know, again, she's gonna go do it.
[00:15:24] Speaker C: Oh, not something you gonna say if.
[00:15:26] Speaker A: I tell women not to do it. Rather, she's going to be like, yeah, she's.
[00:15:30] Speaker C: Or she gonna feel like there's some.
[00:15:31] Speaker A: Prize in doing it, doing it, doing it right. And so. And I'm not trying to play the psychological game to a degree, but then again, I am. I was about to say again, I am. I am. But I also am. Okay. Cause I've had my ladies who have been with other men, you know, they told me that way. I just know when we get off, off top, and I just know what it is.
[00:15:49] Speaker B: Right.
[00:15:50] Speaker A: Just don't bring me no problems. Don't bring me no trouble.
[00:15:52] Speaker C: So it's a good time to ask a question.
[00:15:54] Speaker A: Yeah, you can ask. I just wanna throw that out there.
[00:15:56] Speaker C: So your girl that you're in this relationship with goes out, and she has an interaction.
She comes right home, and then y'all good. It's like, no, like, there's not like a debrief period or something like that?
[00:16:06] Speaker A: No, we debrief.
[00:16:07] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:16:07] Speaker A: Yeah, we definitely brief most of the women. When I'm out with another woman, without. Without my women, I come back home and they want to get it back in because the woman wants to reclaim her territory with me. Most women want to do that. As a man, I want to know what you feel and what's going on with you. Like, did you really, you know, connect with this motherfucker, you know, beyond fucking them? Right. Like, where were you mentally? What is conversation? Y'all had a. Yeah. And again, I'm cool with being vulnerable enough if I fuck with this woman like that to break down the conversation, you know what I'm saying? And break down the emotions and break down. And that's what Polly is. Polly is going to those levels where you're tiptoeing your emotions and your fears and you're with someone. Hopefully, that will kid glove that with you. They don't always do it right. Right. And you don't always do it right. But you're willing to. And it's basically like being on another level of marriage. You know what I'm saying? Because you're supposed to have that type of communication with your partner. Right. In monogamy, you're supposed to be able to say anything and everything. Work through the frustrations, cry with her, laugh with her, tell her how fearful you are. But we tend to not do that because we don't want to hurt them or, you know, and we're be hurt or be hurt. And in Polly, you're testing all of those with your partner or partners.
[00:17:19] Speaker B: So this ain't nothing like that show. Sister wives.
[00:17:21] Speaker A: No, sister wives. And sister wives is totally different.
[00:17:24] Speaker C: So that's what I was going to ask next. So this is, this is more about, this is more about having the freedom. I wouldn't say the word freedom.
[00:17:29] Speaker D: So I'd be in a relationship where you can still date. Yeah.
[00:17:32] Speaker C: This is the ability for you to have multiple things going on at once. However we know this is the main one. Is that how it is? Do, do both the man and the woman both have to understand that this is the main one and everything else is a branch or is it just free? And this may be the main one for right now, but it might not be in a week.
[00:17:48] Speaker A: So there's levels to it to where you have just like any relationship you have to this. I said, it's, it's, it's, it's a ad nauseam level of communication because you need to express what you want. She expresses what she wants. You know, since we all men who like women right here, you let her express and you express.
[00:18:18] Speaker B: Why you respond to that fringe like, you can't, you can't be triggered by that kind of stuff.
[00:18:22] Speaker A: You express.
There's levels to everything. Right. Because again, I had to grow into it, right. I've been poly for about over eleven years or so. In the beginning, I wasn't cool with my ladies being with other men.
[00:18:36] Speaker B: Right, so you were just like, I like chicks that like chicks. But, and it kind of evolved into where you are right now.
[00:18:41] Speaker A: Yeah, it evolved.
[00:18:41] Speaker C: You kept getting with lesbians.
[00:18:43] Speaker A: Well, no, my ex, my ex, she was with Polly. Cause she had been with a married couple before me and she liked women. She wasn't bi, but she was curious. Right, okay, so with her, she still liked dudes, though, right? And I'm like, well, I like her and I want to be with her, you know what I'm saying? But I'm not going to let her want to be with the dudes, you know, affect me being with her long term. So we had multiple conversations. We were together seven years and we had multiple conversations. She went on two dates, never fucked, that I'm aware of. And everything was. And the thing about Polly is open and just straight communication and honesty with the shit. Like, you don't lie about it.
[00:19:27] Speaker B: So what's the difference between an open relationship and a poly relationship?
[00:19:31] Speaker A: I think more of an open relationship, from what I understand it to be, is that's where the freedom. You were asking, like, you can no rules. You kind of, like, you just. We just open. Like, if you don't even have to tell them, you don't gotta tell nobody nothing. You just like, you know, you just understand. It's understood.
Yeah. When we out, me and my girl are out, I see Shorty. I might leave with her. I'll see you back at the crib, you know what I'm saying? Type shit. Cause it's an open relationship. We good. You know what I'm saying? You know what time it is? Whereas in a poly relationship, most of the time, you have some kind of communication with that person. Hey, you see, I see shorty over there. Are you okay if I go talk to her? You know what I'm saying? I don't necessarily have to do that if we're just down like that, but it's just the respect factor of, like, letting you know, like, I'm not disrespecting what we have. And if I bring her over here, when I get over here to shorty, I'm like, look, you see old girl sitting over there? That's my girl. Are you cool with that? Cause I'd like to get to know you, and we would like to get to know you, if you're okay with that. You know what I'm saying? That type of thing.
[00:20:26] Speaker C: So do you consider polyamory an alternative lifestyle?
[00:20:29] Speaker A: An alternative. No, I think it's a primary lifestyle.
[00:20:33] Speaker C: So when I asked a question in the beginning about what problem does it solve? There's not a problem that needs to solve. This is just the way it should be in your eyes.
[00:20:42] Speaker A: It's a primary for me. I don't necessarily know if it's how it should be overall, I think. I think monogamy is still, because it still is so ingrained, ingrained and systematic in how we do things. But I don't think. I think we've lost what it. I think Polly is what we're supposed to be doing in monogamy, but it's not in monogamy.
[00:21:07] Speaker B: Right. Yeah, I heard him. I feel you and that. No, I get it.
[00:21:13] Speaker A: The unlimited ability to be as truthful and as honest as you can be, as pure as you can be without the fear of.
[00:21:18] Speaker D: I think you can have that in the monogamous relationship.
[00:21:21] Speaker A: That's what I'm saying. It probably should be in monogamy. Poly, Poly. Emory. The premise of it, not some honesty aspect of it. I'm not necessarily saying, because everybody's thing ain't to be out here, you know, fucking multiple people. People, you know, because you have to have a certain. I have a certain. Hear me out.
[00:21:39] Speaker B: I'm thinking it might be fucking okay.
[00:21:41] Speaker A: For a man fucking multiple people. Cool. So, you know. Yeah, I get that. And trust me, we men, I get that. But when we talk about, like, I think a lot, like my pops, for example, let me go to take it close on my pops. Been married to my moms for 44 years, right? Never cheated, never walked away. And we've had real nigga conversations. Like, real straight up conversations. Like, I'm like, yo, my niggas is me and you. Like, let's just talk on some. On everything. Like, I'm grown now, you know, I done had two bitches in your crib. You know what I'm saying? What it is. You know, excuse me, but, you know, so I'm like, you know what this is? You know how your son living? And he told me, like, nah, he never. He's just the type of guy, he had to be with one person, you know, one person that he knew had his back and he could have her back. And I think there's people like that. There's men like that. You know what I'm saying? Me, I like the feminine essence. I like being around a lot of femininity. I like being around.
[00:22:29] Speaker C: So that's French.
[00:22:30] Speaker A: I like being around, you know, two women, you know, even if one's a little bit more on the masculine side and one's on the feminine side, I'm cool with that. One likes to be a little bit more outdoors. One likes to be more indoors. I like that. But I like the fact that it's women, you know what I'm saying? Like, they can mingle, they can go out, shop together. You know what I'm saying? One could be cooking, one could be cleaning, or I'll be cooking and cleaning for them. I don't give a fuck.
[00:22:50] Speaker C: But that kind of goes back to the sister wife type thing, though. That feels more like.
[00:22:54] Speaker D: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
[00:22:55] Speaker C: That feels more like a family as opposed to polyamory. Am I wrong?
[00:22:58] Speaker A: No, but see, okay, again, so, polyamory, depending upon, again, how you set your boundaries and your respect factor and your communication level, polyamory still can lead to long term relationships. So, like, with me and my ladies, I prefer to have a priority.
[00:23:14] Speaker B: I'm sorry, I just didn't know if. Was there an s at the end of that.
[00:23:17] Speaker A: Me and my ladies.
[00:23:17] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:23:18] Speaker A: Yeah, like, so two ladies.
[00:23:19] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:23:19] Speaker A: Yeah, so too.
[00:23:19] Speaker B: Yeah, I didn't know if I had a lady or ladies lady.
[00:23:22] Speaker A: Sorry. Yeah, so I. A primary. Okay, so you do have, like, a primary situation.
[00:23:26] Speaker C: The bottom.
[00:23:27] Speaker A: The bottom bitch. You know what I'm saying? But the primary, and then whoever comes in, you know, you bring in. I feel I would like for her to be long term.
[00:23:35] Speaker C: See, that's my question right there. How does the person who's the primary have any. Is there any protection in a polyamorous relationship? Is there any protection for the person who's the original, the plank owner? Does she have any power or say over the relationship in any more so than the new girl or the third girl?
[00:23:56] Speaker A: That always breaks down, again, to how YouTube set your parameters for your relationship.
I know of poly couples who. They're married. Right. The primary and the man and the woman are married, and they bring someone else in. The other person they bring in may not get married. I know poly couples who the women are married. The man's not married to them, but legally he has trust and things set up to where.
Yeah, they're taken care of. You know what I'm saying? So it just depends. I think, again, going back to, you're saying the trust and protection. The trust and protection comes in because I don't believe in marriage. Okay? I don't believe in marriage. I believe in long term commitment, but I don't believe in marriage itself. I believe in setting up paperwork. I believe in providing. Right. You know, I'm saying. But I don't believe in marriage as what we know it to be. I don't believe in going to the courthouse and signs of papers and then now you got half of my shit, you know, just off gp because we signed paper. I don't believe in all the hoopla of, you know, walking down the aisle in front of everybody and God and shit. God was when we was together, you know, or whoever was watching above, he was there when we met and when we fucking. So I don't need to be trying to sit there and, you know, dress you all up in front of everybody else and say, like, now I'm committed to this shit. When tomorrow, if you really get pissed at me and you don't want to communicate like we've been communicating, you could walk away at any point in time. You have that right to do that. And that's for me. I'm like, that's how I do it. Right again. But, pop. But I know of people who are married. I know of people who are not married. They just have paperwork between them. If you want that, if a woman needs that, because women need security, protection, get that right in the grand scheme of things, not to, you know, be sexist on this bird, you know? Yeah. So the women can marry one another. I'm fine with that. You know what I'm saying? Or I have them in trust, or I write, you know, paperwork. So therefore, they feel safe and secure. They'll have a certain amount.
[00:25:46] Speaker B: They realize the commitment with the throple.
[00:25:49] Speaker D: Situation where it's like, you, your girl, and another lady, that second girl that comes into that relationship, y'all will be okay with her also dating other dudes or women.
[00:25:59] Speaker A: Yeah, we would talk about that. Yes, we would. Definitely. Yeah, yeah, we would. We would. We would set up those parameters to where. Yeah, we understand. You come in if you feel like you need to explore, just always communicate with us. Know.
[00:26:08] Speaker B: That's the whole thing with poly. Right. It's not. It's not a lock in. It's not a. It's not a.
I guess it's in on a base to base, you know, a case by case scenario. Right. But the. What I feel like you're saying is that it's. It's all about options. Like. Like, what we agree to is okay. Like. And if this is not what you are okay with, then we just don't. We just don't. We just don't proceed then.
[00:26:33] Speaker C: Yeah, but it's weird, though, because I'm hearing him say that there are rules, but then there are also the absence of rules as long as we discuss it. So that's confusing to me. That's where I would fall.
[00:26:41] Speaker A: It's not the absence of rules. It's still rules. So, like. Like, what I'm saying is. So let's say the couple that I know that's married, the guy and the girl that are married, right. They've married for, like, 15 years.
There's rules to their. To their poly. Like, you know, he can go out and date when they're. At certain times, like, what, 06:00 p.m. or. No, no, no. Yeah, that's great. That's great. Question. At certain times in their relationship, if they're not.
[00:27:08] Speaker B: Come on. Any Gabby home.
[00:27:09] Speaker A: If that's real. No. So let me be clear. If they're not in a committed relationship, with another person. Right?
[00:27:15] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:27:16] Speaker A: Another young lady. If they're not in a committed relationship with another young lady, he can go out and date as long as finances are at a certain. Because they are very, like, they're very regimented and they communicate on all levels. So, like, if the income is not, you know, if the. If the savings is not where it needs to be, they had to cut into it for the kid. Cause they got kids too, right? If things are not with the careers, if they're not, they haven't had their date nights, consistent, you know, situations, then they can't. He can't go out and date and he can't bring someone into relationship. If those things have been consistent for say, like a two or three month period or whatever. Same goes for her and the same goes for her, right? And in their case. In their case, she doesn't date dudes. She only dates women.
[00:27:56] Speaker C: You got to get a manager to.
[00:27:58] Speaker D: Take care of you.
[00:27:59] Speaker C: Yo, I need to call my manager, see if I can get date this weekend, bro.
[00:28:03] Speaker B: When he just actually said something that really made me interested is like he said, the kids. So when this. With this openness, does that transfer to the kids as well?
[00:28:14] Speaker A: So.
[00:28:15] Speaker B: No, no, no. Like, I mean, so the kids know what it is as well. Like, are we open?
[00:28:19] Speaker A: Not yet. The kids are young, so. And again, their rules are not until a certain point in time that they're dating. You know, one, because they want someone that they're going to have, be with for a while, right. But it has to. They don't introduce her to the kids until a certain time point, you know, of length of time of them having been dating.
[00:28:35] Speaker B: Okay?
[00:28:36] Speaker A: So it's still. It's with respect, because the kids are young too, right?
[00:28:39] Speaker D: Now my question is, this is why I never, it's not. I never understood it, why I never felt like the need to do all that is why don't I just stay single? I can fuck wherever I want. I don't have to worry about the finances. I don't have to worry about how hearing how your day was, because then.
[00:28:56] Speaker B: At that point, typically, you got a.
[00:28:57] Speaker C: Relationship solve that problem. Right? That's the. That's a problem that relationships solve you.
[00:29:03] Speaker D: But it's probably going to do.
[00:29:04] Speaker C: But you're. But you're single, but you're not spoken for. So I'm saying Rio knows where he's going to be Friday night, without question. However, there can be a wrinkle in that and it can be something totally off the wall because there's potential for that. But if not, if all else fails, he still has a place. There still is a place to exist and a person to exist with. So it's a little bit of that solves. That's what, that's the problem relationships solve. People who say, oh, I love being single. They do. But then they're always having to, they're having to kill, eat what they kill every single day. They're always having to find a new adventure. They're always having to find a new person to spend time with. Whereas if you're married, you know, hey, this is what I'm doing Friday night. Now, if something else happens, that's an addendum, but I know that I got a place to be Friday. Is that accurate? Kind of.
[00:29:51] Speaker B: And I think that also in being single, typically it doesn't always have to be, but I think most of the time there, then if you're talking about just fucking a lot of different people, there becomes a level of deception. Because I don't think the upfrontness in being single is there when you're just out there with other people, like, you know, me. Sure. You could say I'm dating other people.
[00:30:12] Speaker D: I was just thinking, you're right. Are you? Definitely right? I was just thinking of that dude. Like, that dude technically can fuck other girls, but if he didn't get paid the way he was supposed to get paid this past month, he can't. And for me, I'm like, well, if you just stay single, you don't even have to worry about that.
[00:30:27] Speaker A: Well, I think, I mean, yeah, priorities. And you think of it a little too narrow because it's not like that. They're okay. They're well to do. Yeah, I'm sure they're saying there's a certain standard because they understand when they like anything else, when you start getting out here. So me wanting, you know, and pursuing two women, I have to have a certain economic status, you know, I'm saying, to be able to supply for shit, just one woman, as you are articulating. Right. But then you talk about two, right. I have to have a certain level of income generation, so therefore I can, you know, sustain investments, I can sustain flow.
[00:31:02] Speaker B: Two dates is a lot.
[00:31:04] Speaker A: It's a lot, right? It's a lot. And then, you know, women with their hair done, with the nails done, they want to go out, you know, I'm saying. Right. So it comes with a certain level of responsibility. And I think that. But when people are talking about poly, it's not.
When guys first hear they're thinking like, you get a chance to fuck and just go out and eat your, you know, have your cake eater too. It's not really that. It really is you. There's a lot of emotional work you got to do on yourself, first and foremost, period. I'm just being honest. It's a lot of emotional work you have to do on yourself. There's a lot of testing. One's ability to be completely forthcoming. Not to be arrogant or be an asshole about it, but be forthcoming enough to where you can try to mitigate issues before they arise. Right. It's kind of like being a manager, being a boss of a company, right? You try to be as forthcoming with, you know, your board and team and seeing the horizon, right. But you gotta make sure you're being communicative. Not so much where you're fear. You're placing fear in people, but you're motivating them to move forward. And so it's the kind of same thing in a relationship with me and Polly. And you can't just be out here wilding just cause you making the money. You can't be blowing up. You can't be blowing it. Right? Same thing with just cause you got a bad bitch, you got two bad women. You just can't be out here like, yo, I'm about to go out here and fuck all these bitches. Because you do have this woman here, and you do have another woman here that you are trying to make sure they trust you. They can see in you, you know, stability.
And so it's not that freedom or that wild owl, I should say that people think it is. It is extremely disciplined and it's not for the faint of heart. And the reason why I like it better than monogamy, because I feel like monogamy makes us suppress, especially with men.
The reason why I like is because I'm telling you I like women with women, and I'm being honest about that. And I'm telling you that at some point I'm going to want us to explore someone else. Whenever we run across that individual that I believe, I believe will be right for us, I need you to trust the fact that I know who I might be bringing in is going to be what I believe is best for both of us. The same way you trust me to guide this relationship. Right? So with that being said, it's like, I can't go out here and just, wow, I just can't go out here and just be picking anything just because.
[00:33:16] Speaker C: Trust in you.
[00:33:17] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:33:17] Speaker A: She won't lose her trust you know, I'm saying. And then, and then when I want to do it, I see one I really want. And she may even really want now because I'm over here playing games so much. Yeah. She's like, I don't want to fuck with you, like, on this situation.
[00:33:28] Speaker D: Because usually when you deal with a girl that likes girls, they tend to pick the girl to come in the bedroom. In your situation, you picked the girl.
[00:33:37] Speaker A: So it's been a little bit of both.
[00:33:39] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:33:39] Speaker A: It's been a little bit of both. I've had. I've had good poly relationships.
Even with the one that wasn't bi. My first one that really got me into it, she was bi. So she would pick the girls for us and she would. And basically it was like she would create almost a harem. And I don't mean that to be extra, but it would be like she would have two or three girls, you know, at the crib. And I can be. She'd be like, which one you want tonight? Type shit. This one, I was living in LA and she was persian.
She like a harem to me. Yeah, right, right. Damn near. But she was a bit.
[00:34:09] Speaker C: Was there belly dancing?
[00:34:11] Speaker A: We went to some belly dancing events. The second one was, she was american black, black, white mix.
But she was more, I want to say she wasn't as out there. So it was. We curtailed a little bit. How we, how we went about choose the girl. Yeah, how we chose. So I would, she wasn't a hunter. I was more the hunter.
[00:34:35] Speaker D: So let me ask you another question. You were saying that like, a couple minutes ago, you were saying that pretty much that eventually, at some point, because you told the girl, hey, I like other women, I like seeing girls with other women, blah, blah, blah, that you think that's best for the relationship, just like she got to trust you to lead the relationship. Do you think that's all coming from? Cuz the reason why I say that is because, like me, I'm in a monogamous relationship. But for me, what makes me appreciate of my relationship is because it's beyond my ego. So I know, like, yo, I don't need to, like my, like, I feel like all of that is ego satisfaction. Like, you satisfying your ego more than just the actual.
[00:35:16] Speaker B: What, satisfying his ego, being with more than one.
[00:35:18] Speaker D: Yeah, I think that's, that, that drive that's, that's making you want to do that experience, that it's more to satisfy your ego. While for me, I feel like when you do try to practice a healthy monogamous relationship. It goes beyond the ego fulfillment. It's like even I could be the worst version of myself. This, this one woman will still find beauty in me.
[00:35:40] Speaker C: Oh, French. That's so beautiful.
[00:35:41] Speaker D: That's where I feel like I'm so beautiful in my version of monogamy. Like, obviously, you know, that's why I feel like, for me, it's like, oh, fuck my ego. It's like it doesn't even matter no more. It's just more of, like, this person and me. Like, we have this thing and then that's why we can do grow together and be old and just be us.
[00:35:59] Speaker A: If you remember, like I said before, certain men are built a certain way.
[00:36:03] Speaker B: Like you said, you're like a dad, so.
[00:36:04] Speaker D: Right, but that's what I'm saying. Do you think that.
[00:36:06] Speaker A: But it's not ego. Cause like you're saying the way. I just know myself. I know what, I know what.
[00:36:12] Speaker D: Those are all ego words, though. I just know myself. Those are all things that goes back to satisfying ego. When you say things like, I just know myself.
[00:36:21] Speaker A: There's an awareness. There's an awareness one has of oneself. Right, sure. Okay, so those are different words. Yeah. So let me, let me just. Those are different words. So let me say it this way. I'm very aware of who I am and what, what drives me.
[00:36:35] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:36:35] Speaker A: I'm saying. And so for me, yeah, I drive. I drive the tenacity to keep driving and keep going for more. And that's part ego. I agree with you to a degree. To a degree. But I also know Tudo for where I am. That's how I like to be now. And I feel like that's where I want to be going forward. And having two women, for me, will help that process.
[00:36:59] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:37:00] Speaker A: For me, I get that.
[00:37:02] Speaker B: Is it only two?
[00:37:03] Speaker A: Yeah, just for me too.
[00:37:04] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:37:04] Speaker D: Is it once the was the more zeros come in your income, will they be three, four or five when, you know, my.
[00:37:10] Speaker A: No, my income is nice now. And I mean. Okay, so, I mean, like, I mean so much.
[00:37:14] Speaker B: I'm glad you said that because you had mentioned, you know, a lot of this is, you know, everybody's kind of like, you know, having the ability, the means and all that. So are in your experience, have you experienced any non affluent poly people.
[00:37:32] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:37:33] Speaker B: Where they're not, they're not necessarily rich or doing well? Okay. No, so because the reason I asked that is because of the initial we talked about group back and.
[00:37:43] Speaker D: Yeah. Because some people do it for group.
[00:37:45] Speaker B: Economic and, and I, and I ever wonder, does that ever come into play? Like, you know, the fact that, like, Mexicans or Asians or whatever that live, you know, you know, six or seven deep in a house fucking guy.
Like, again, I never.
[00:38:02] Speaker D: We probably.
[00:38:02] Speaker C: Bro.
[00:38:07] Speaker B: How much did you say that? An f 150. Brand new.
[00:38:09] Speaker C: Cost, like about 95.
[00:38:11] Speaker B: Okay. I'm watching these essays, and they in the 350s, right? Brand new. Right, right. And it's like, well, what are you doing, my nigga? Like, what do you do for a living? It's like, well, it's not that what I do for a living is that I live three families in a house, right? Like, so it's not my. My fucking expendable income is higher. So it just went, you know, group economics works, and I've seen it work for other cultures. I know that black people, we don't fuck with it like that. Cause, you know, we need to have our own shit. Yeah.
[00:38:37] Speaker C: And I see what you're saying because I feel like there's this stigma that goes along with polyamory. And of course, I'm not in that lifestyle. So I'm looking from the outside, looking in, but there's.
[00:38:45] Speaker B: I'm sold.
[00:38:46] Speaker C: There's a.
There's a stigma, like you were getting at the beginning of this, needing to be something that an affluent man does, right. Because if the man is still the man in the relationship, no matter how many women are involved, there's still gonna be certain expectations placed on that man for sure to fulfill.
[00:39:07] Speaker A: Right.
[00:39:08] Speaker B: As a provider.
[00:39:09] Speaker C: Is that true? Is that still accurate? Or is there a little bit more sharing when it's.
[00:39:13] Speaker A: It's more sharing. But let's be clear, though. Even monogamy, you know, and regular monogamous relationships, you know, the whole reason why you get married is it's a financial plus.
[00:39:24] Speaker C: Some people.
[00:39:25] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I mean, so let's not act like, you know, anything where you're trying to combine individuals. It's going to be an element of that. Now, if you focus on that, then that's what you're going to focus on. But it's not. That's not the primary thing about Poly is the.
What's the word you guys use? The group economics? I can talk. Right, right.
No, it's not, it's not. It's not so much that. Because, like you said, shit, I mean, years ago out when I first started, I was the broken. Right? You know what I'm saying? So, like, you know, I mean, it's not about that. It really isn't. When I. When I addressed you, guys, when I addressed you guys about, I said everything you talking about is not Poly Polly is truth, honesty. With multiple partners that can be involved in the relate, that can be involved. They should be. Generally, you do have more than two partners. You have about three at minimum. At minimum with involved. Now, it could be more than that. It can because multiple partners. But the primary root of it is truth, honesty. And I mean, when I say ad nauseam communication, ad nauseam communication. Because you have to be able to talk to one another, all of you and everybody being honest and open about who is involved with everybody who's involved. So if you got five people involved, all y'all know each other. All y'all talk about it. Not saying. All y'all are fucking not saying that. I'm saying. But all of y'all are intertwined.
[00:40:47] Speaker B: You all, because you guys are all connected. Like, you guys are all. You guys are all affecting each other.
[00:40:52] Speaker A: Exactly.
[00:40:53] Speaker C: If one of your girls like, yo, I would just like for you to watch when me and his dude do something.
[00:40:57] Speaker A: Yeah, for me, that's not something. I'm into watching her with another dude. She can go be with him. But I'm not into watching another dude like that. Like, I.
[00:41:05] Speaker C: Would that always be considered a cuckold?
[00:41:07] Speaker D: For sure.
[00:41:08] Speaker C: Not you, nigga.
[00:41:09] Speaker D: You.
[00:41:09] Speaker C: You the nigga that watched the video.
[00:41:11] Speaker D: Gotta be a cuckoo.
[00:41:12] Speaker C: You watched the nigga lick net off some his own girl's stomach. I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about in a mature way.
[00:41:17] Speaker A: I'm sorry. I may apartment ignorance of cuckold.
[00:41:20] Speaker C: Okay, so.
[00:41:26] Speaker B: Our friends cuckolds me.
[00:41:29] Speaker D: Cuckold is when a guy likes to watch his woman have sex with another guy.
[00:41:33] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:41:33] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:41:34] Speaker C: I don't know if it's like that.
[00:41:35] Speaker D: Might be the way enjoys it. No, I don't know if that.
[00:41:37] Speaker C: I don't know if that's what it is. I thought it was more power dynamics. I don't know, though. I don't know. Again, I'm not really sure.
[00:41:42] Speaker B: I mean, I have to defer to him.
[00:41:43] Speaker D: I mean, so guy likes it. The guy has to. Yeah, yeah. The guy deflect, arouse.
[00:41:49] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:41:49] Speaker D: From watching his wife fucking another. Yeah, Nate did. A power dynamic can be a factor, but he still likes that. He's still getting something off by watching his wife get.
[00:42:01] Speaker B: Even if it's the power dynamic of being like, kind of like, you know, not in control. Right. Or defeat. You know, being, what? Not humiliating. Yeah. Humiliated and shit like that. You know, that type of part. You know, like the fucking nut kicking and all that shit. These other motherfuckers liking shit, you know?
[00:42:17] Speaker A: Right.
[00:42:17] Speaker B: And French, that is a powerful new thing. Like, they like to be, you know? Cause they're always in power.
[00:42:22] Speaker D: Yeah. Usually is a guy that's highly successful, highly management, but for some reason, that's how he gets off.
[00:42:29] Speaker A: Yeah.
I've been around those guys and. I know, but, I mean, I've always been the guy they always ask to bring in to do that, and I don't do it.
[00:42:38] Speaker B: You never been a bull.
[00:42:41] Speaker A: I know.
That's just not my thing.
[00:42:43] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:42:44] Speaker A: Saying, like, I. Right. I just. That's just not my thing. I like. When I like the women I like again. I give them their freedom to do what they feel like they feel like they need to do to be happy. You know what I'm saying? But I don't need to be a part of that shit.
[00:42:56] Speaker D: But you, since you like girls and girls, would you. What if your girl be like, I want you to watch me and this girl?
[00:43:01] Speaker A: Yeah, definitely.
[00:43:01] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:43:02] Speaker B: Without a doubt.
[00:43:03] Speaker D: Let's do run it.
[00:43:05] Speaker C: Wouldn't that still be a cuckold or. No.
[00:43:07] Speaker B: Nah, nah.
[00:43:08] Speaker D: Unless this is she with a strap.
[00:43:09] Speaker C: Ain't nobody asking me.
[00:43:10] Speaker D: I'm asking.
[00:43:11] Speaker C: I'm asking. A strap.
[00:43:12] Speaker D: This is sheep with a strap.
[00:43:13] Speaker B: Okay. So girl on girl, and then watch.
[00:43:15] Speaker D: If she put a strap. Hey, you might graduate to a cuck eventually.
I feel like if she.
[00:43:21] Speaker C: Why'd you put the accent on eight? Graduate.
[00:43:26] Speaker D: I think. I think. I think that's how it starts, right? I think it'll start with the. With the strap, and then you'll get tired of doing that. Cause you've been doing that fantasy for a minute, and then you'll be like, you know what? Bring Jerome in.
[00:43:36] Speaker A: Bring Jerome in.
[00:43:39] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't know.
[00:43:40] Speaker A: I mean, I think you're incorporating now fetishes of different types into it. But poly for. Is just. Polyamorous is just like, you know, saying, you know, version. I mean, it's just like, you got poly, you got polygamy, you have marriage monogamy, you got. You just got these.
[00:43:58] Speaker B: Polygamy and poly. Or. Honestly, I thought that that was just the poly was the short of, like, an abbreviation.
[00:44:05] Speaker C: Polyamory.
[00:44:06] Speaker A: No, polyamory. Polyamory is polyamory. Polygamy is multiple wives, I do believe.
[00:44:10] Speaker B: Okay. Yeah, multiple wives. Okay, so that's the sister wives, dude. Yeah.
[00:44:14] Speaker A: That's that thing.
[00:44:15] Speaker D: That.
[00:44:15] Speaker B: Dude.
[00:44:16] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:44:16] Speaker D: That means you only date those people and those people only that.
[00:44:19] Speaker B: And they don't. And you're the only guy.
[00:44:22] Speaker A: Yeah. It's like one guy with multiple wives.
[00:44:24] Speaker D: But he can only date those wives. Mess around with those wives, I should say.
[00:44:28] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:44:29] Speaker A: Well, I mean. I mean, yeah, right.
[00:44:34] Speaker B: How do you add more if you're not dating?
[00:44:36] Speaker C: And they can't technically be wives anyway, so.
[00:44:39] Speaker B: Yeah, in Utah they can.
[00:44:40] Speaker C: No.
[00:44:41] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, Mormons.
[00:44:42] Speaker C: No, you cannot technically. There's no law in this country that allows you to have multiple wives. You can do it, but it's not by law.
It's not respected under law.
[00:44:51] Speaker B: I haven't watched the show, but I know you got a whole show.
[00:44:52] Speaker D: What made you decide to enter that lifestyle? Cause you said you've been doing it for about ten years. So before that, when you were, I guess, living life, what made you be like, you know what you said a.
[00:45:02] Speaker C: Girl introduced him to it.
[00:45:03] Speaker D: Oh, girl.
[00:45:03] Speaker A: Well, actually, I knew about it from the couple that I knew. I knew the couple. They were in it, and I just didn't find women, you know, who were about that life. And then I was. So for me, hold on.
[00:45:16] Speaker B: So the couple that you knew, were you with her?
[00:45:20] Speaker A: No, no, no.
And that's the thing again, just because, you know, I think it's kind of like. It's kind of like how niggas be. Like, if he gay, he looking at me. This is good. Nigga gay don't mean he looking at you. He just gay. You know what I'm saying?
[00:45:31] Speaker C: So looking at you right now, what.
[00:45:32] Speaker D: Do you think he's thinking? You wonder why I said, shut the fuck up.
[00:45:36] Speaker B: No, no, French is. No, French has said this. A plenty of time. He's done on road trips.
[00:45:40] Speaker C: See how he tried. You see how he tried to do me? Like I'm the one that's saying something crazy. Yeah, as if he didn't tell O dub. No, you.
[00:45:46] Speaker A: You.
[00:45:47] Speaker C: You undercutting yourself. You ain't no seven. You were eight, man, that's not gay.
[00:45:50] Speaker B: I don't think he even gave him a number. He just said, you got to go. You got to go higher than seven.
[00:45:54] Speaker C: His nigga saying, what do you think you.
[00:45:56] Speaker D: He's out.
[00:45:56] Speaker C: I feel like I'm about a seven first.
[00:45:57] Speaker B: Like, no, no, man, you like, come on, don't undersell yourself.
[00:46:00] Speaker C: Love yourself, King. Would you say.
[00:46:06] Speaker A: No? I was gonna say, you know, cuz, it's the thing, man. I feel like, because women. So I tried to create two reality shows when I was living in LA.
I got a pilot going based upon polyamory lifestyle. And we did research. We had a couple individuals who were in the lifestyle who were, you know, not affluent, you know, they just didn't look like, you know, Hollywood, you know, so we couldn't really sell. I tried to picture to Bruno, Bruno Murray, who did the Kardashians, and it just didn't work. Regardless, what happens with the women, though, because it's like you said, the stigma becomes, now, if a woman says she's poly now, most dudes are gonna look at her like, oh, well, she loose, right? And that's unfair, you know? And if I say to a woman, I'm Polly, that means I can't be faithful. And that's not the case at all. And so that's where.
[00:46:56] Speaker C: But you understand.
[00:46:58] Speaker A: I totally get it, okay? I totally get it. But then it's kind of. It's so interesting to me because most of the men who are hitting on these women out here and all right now, for face value, are married or they have some, right, right. Supposed to be monogamous, or they're separated and they're hitting on women, right? I'm telling the young lady, I'm single. I just like women. I'm telling you up top who I am. Now you want to judge me based off of the standard that is already a fucked up standard to begin with. And what I'm saying is, I think it's interesting. We have to have more dialogue about it and be a little bit more forthcoming about it and be a little more clear about what this is. This is still a level of respect for an individual and knowing who you are and making sure you're not out here just going crazy.
[00:47:46] Speaker C: But that's why you're on this show. And trust me, this is the quietest our show has ever been in ten years.
[00:47:53] Speaker A: But I hope it's making some sense. What I'm saying from a real standpoint, it's not. These are the things that I would love to dispel and break down, because this is not just out here fucking everything. As a matter of fact, when I was with my girl, that was the most faithful I had ever been, you know, when I was with my girls, because I don't have to hide. I don't have to lie. I can. We can sit there and we can look to your point as a man, like, sometimes you ain't blind. You see a chick you like, look, baby, yo, buddy got. She got ass. You know what I'm saying? Like, yo, I wonder, is that. Is that core product solid? You know what I'm saying? And you can rap with your girl. And be cool with it. And she's cool with you, right? And it's like she might nudge me in the middle of the night a couple, couple weeks later.
[00:48:32] Speaker D: Like, you can't do that in a monogamous relationship.
[00:48:35] Speaker A: I'm not saying you can't. I'm not saying you can't, but it's very few far in between. Hence why a lot of times, and I'm not saying that it should be there more often than it's not, but hence why you got these guys. And you guys can jump anytime, but I feel like you got these guys that hide a lot of it and suppress a lot of it. And then when they out with their boys, they share all this shit with their homies at one. And then, you know, few years in, they get all amped up, like, I'm a, you know, baby off on a wedding or something with some friends. I'm a go just explore this shit, you know? And they don't share that with they shorty. And then it's, you know, it's something they go. They grade with, or she finds out, and it's this whole blow up, you know what I'm saying? And what I'm saying in Polly, all that shit's eliminated off top, matter of fact. Now. Cause let me say this. I did say. Cause people gonna say this. Well, you saying all that, but you ain't in a real relationship right now.
We was together seven years. I told you I don't believe in marriage. I told her, if I don't make you happy and at some point you feel like you got to walk, you can walk. I don't want you to go. But again, my whole goal, if I wasn't married, if I was married to you, is I want you to be happy, right? And I want you to be full of yourself and feel like you reaching your goals. If you can't find that with me, then you can go, right? At some point, she, you know, business failed at the time or whatever, whatever, whatever may have happened, but she did not leave off a line. I never lied to her. She never lied to me. I was never unfaithful. She was never unfaithful to me. You know what I'm saying? That I'm aware of. And we were, in this particular case, guys, we was together 24/7 cause when I was about the country for a few years, and we was together 24/7 for the last four years of our relationship because we were living abroad, and I just wanted to make sure she was safe, you know what I'm saying? That being said, I'm not saying that this is like the stamp to being in a perfect long term relationship. I'm not saying that. But I am saying she can part her way, I can part my way, honestly and purely. Right. If I needed to call her, we don't talk right now just because. We just don't talk. But if I need to call, I guarantee you she would say, yeah, it was. He was straight.
[00:50:27] Speaker B: Right.
[00:50:28] Speaker A: We just went our different way.
[00:50:29] Speaker D: Are you saying that these things don't happen in monogamous relationships? I feel like all the things you just described can happen in a real arm.
[00:50:37] Speaker A: It's not that it can't. It's just the fact that I think you have, first off, in monogamous relationships, you have a higher divorce rate than ever. You having a lot of cheating going on, a lot of hidden shit going on. Right. And we just know that it's facts.
We just know that that's that fact. I mean, I'm just, I'm. Fact or not? I don't know. We can just. That's, that's a little aggressive. But we know that over 50% of marriage. Right, right. So I'm saying if, if. I'm not saying that this is.
[00:51:08] Speaker D: But are you? Because you, like, you say, you saying that, you're saying that yo. By doing the poly, because you have to be so honest, it takes away all that pain, that guilt, the hiding, all that stuff.
[00:51:21] Speaker A: Right.
[00:51:22] Speaker D: That's what you're pretty much saying.
[00:51:23] Speaker A: It takes.
[00:51:23] Speaker D: But in reality, in a monogamous relationship, you should come through and be honest as well.
[00:51:28] Speaker A: But you don't.
[00:51:30] Speaker D: Yeah. People don't.
[00:51:31] Speaker C: Yeah, but you can.
[00:51:32] Speaker D: But you can.
[00:51:33] Speaker C: And so I think that's.
[00:51:34] Speaker D: I think that is so I'm wondering, when you compare true honest monogamous relationship versus a so poly.
[00:51:42] Speaker B: Okay, so I hear you caping for this monogamy right here.
No, I understand what I'm asking. Just don't be offended, man.
[00:51:50] Speaker C: So take your ego out of it, Frank.
[00:51:53] Speaker B: So, so in your relationship.
[00:51:57] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:51:57] Speaker B: How often do you address or tell g money about the attractive people that you've seen and vice versa? Or is that something you guys talk about?
[00:52:08] Speaker D: That means you might even talk about bring another girl in.
[00:52:15] Speaker B: You know, this is like a revelation because this is the whole time you've ever been on the show, you've been anti that.
[00:52:21] Speaker D: You have only been anti that because if she comes in and says, oh, if you, if we, if you say, if I can, if I can have another girl, I don't want to be a hypocrite. Just like he said he had to grow. I already know. I don't even want to grow to that. I don't even want to grow to the level of another dude. I don't even want to grow that. That's why I said I don't. I don't want to sleep with another girl for the sake of dealing with the idea of not being a hypocrite.
[00:52:47] Speaker C: So that sounds like it's your ego is the problem.
[00:52:49] Speaker D: Yeah, from that aspect, that's what. That's why I was asking those questions. That's why I was asking this question. But to G money's point, she said she don't want to bring another mand. So in my relationship, I can have that element. Because she says, no, she would not want another man.
[00:53:02] Speaker B: Right.
[00:53:02] Speaker D: She would only want another girl. But me, I was saying in general, when we were having that topic, I don't want to be a hypocrite if she's going to let me have another girl. In fairness, I should also let her have another dude.
[00:53:13] Speaker B: But I don't want to talk about it.
[00:53:15] Speaker D: But I was just saying in general, when we were having that topic. That's what I'm saying.
[00:53:19] Speaker C: To be fair, I think the overarching point is a successful, a highly successful monogamous relationship and a highly successful polyamorous relationship are probably very similar, right?
[00:53:32] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:53:33] Speaker C: The only difference is. The only difference is the ability to expand sexual, or not necessarily sexual emotional partnership. Yeah, that's the only. But the problem is, is that I think what Rio is saying, I'm not trying to put words in his mouth, he has seen so much failure on the monogamous relationship side that that doesn't even look like a viable option. But he has figured out how to make this other. This other thing work.
[00:53:58] Speaker D: And I think the reason why it works in the poly side is because both parties gotta be honest, and the monogamous side is usually one of the others not being honest.
[00:54:05] Speaker C: No, I think in monogamous, both people are dishonest together.
[00:54:07] Speaker D: Oh, that's.
[00:54:08] Speaker C: But they're forced to by culture. Culture has forced you to be a. To say things a certain way and be a certain way. And if you ever go outside of that, you should be shamed of that.
[00:54:20] Speaker D: That's the point.
[00:54:20] Speaker C: And then once it becomes shameful, now, you know, the chances of you doing it are increased because it's a shameful thing. And shame is like, we're with humans, right? We're the type of people that we don't like being shamed. But as soon as we are, that becomes something that happens in the shadows and now it's more exciting and it's like, what the fuck does that mean? But that's who we are.
[00:54:38] Speaker B: So shout out to Amber Rose. I don't know why I said that.
[00:54:42] Speaker C: I don't either.
Who know what the fuck Amber rose gotta do with any of it, but.
[00:54:46] Speaker B: I think that she made that popular.
Yeah, the slut walk. Like, look, let's just own it. Like, this is what I am.
[00:54:53] Speaker D: Yeah, but see there.
[00:54:54] Speaker C: But that, but see, again, Maxi, that's, that's not what. I don't think that's what Rio's talking about. Nobody slut in poly.
[00:54:59] Speaker B: No, I understand.
[00:55:00] Speaker C: That's the stigma that gets attached to the girls.
[00:55:02] Speaker B: I was talking about the dysfunctional, monogamous relationship. Right. That part of it, but.
[00:55:07] Speaker D: So the key element from, from what I'm gathering is, is true honesty in that open communication for both styles of relationship.
[00:55:14] Speaker C: And what's crazy is the fact that you believe that that's what makes a successful polyamorous relationship. And what I think is, is the important key is that that's the importance of any relationship, whether it's emotional friendship. Yes. Honesty and communication have to happen.
[00:55:28] Speaker A: What I'm saying is, you're absolutely correct. And I said, as I said, it should be within side. That's what the main, you know, what everybody knows culturally to be, which is monogamy. I was gonna say a point that you guys brought up.
[00:55:42] Speaker B: That's okay, because I got a question for you, though.
[00:55:44] Speaker A: Go ahead.
[00:55:44] Speaker B: Because you just had said that you had mentioned and you addressed yourself as single. So.
[00:55:52] Speaker C: No, I think he was talking about when he meets people. When. At a time when he met somebody before. Right, right.
[00:55:56] Speaker B: Yeah, he was right now. So right now, you would not say that, like, so if you saw a shorty out there and, you know, say, hey, whatever, and you pointed to your girl, you're not saying, I'm single.
I'm in a relationship. I'm with someone. Okay.
[00:56:10] Speaker A: For sure. Top. Yeah. I mean, like, I got a shorty right now.
[00:56:13] Speaker B: Right.
[00:56:13] Speaker A: She's in heogenetta.
[00:56:15] Speaker C: To other, to normal people. That's Rio de Janeiro.
[00:56:18] Speaker A: Right?
[00:56:18] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:56:18] Speaker A: Right.
[00:56:19] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:56:19] Speaker C: I was about to say we're not brazilian. We don't speak Portuguese, bro.
[00:56:21] Speaker B: I didn't even know what that meant.
I didn't know if that was like a course, like she was in school. Is she on a different planet?
[00:56:33] Speaker C: She's brazilian, bro. Yeah, that's what?
[00:56:35] Speaker A: Brazil. Yeah. So she.
[00:56:37] Speaker B: Look at this.
[00:56:39] Speaker A: Brazil.
[00:56:40] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:56:40] Speaker A: You got Brazil Brasileda. So female.
[00:56:42] Speaker C: How many girls you got a Brazilian?
[00:56:47] Speaker A: That's stupid. I'm browse you later.
No, so I do have. I am in a relationship, right. But we are Polly. So she like. And she. I can go up to a girl, and if I go up to a girl, whether I'm with her or not.
[00:56:59] Speaker B: Right.
[00:56:59] Speaker A: Like, I would. I would still tell her that I went and spoke to this girl today. She's gorgeous. You know what I'm saying? And I told her about you. You know? That's right.
[00:57:07] Speaker D: What about the new girl? Would you tell the new girl about you?
[00:57:09] Speaker B: Oh, for sure. That's it. That's.
[00:57:10] Speaker A: Everything is off top.
[00:57:11] Speaker D: Okay.
Even the new girl know what she's getting.
[00:57:15] Speaker B: Yeah. You can't, because you can't. You can't sneak that up on somebody.
[00:57:18] Speaker C: Right.
[00:57:19] Speaker B: Hey, I'm sorry. Let's go to my house and let me, by the way, Sheila here too, right.
[00:57:24] Speaker A: And let me say this. Everybody does it a little bit different again, is how you do it. At the end of the day, though, at the end of the day, you still have to be honest and communicative. Like, I know the married couple that I'm talking about. He doesn't tell them until a few dates in that he's married with kids and all this stuff. Damn right.
[00:57:44] Speaker D: But he probably needs those few days to vary.
[00:57:46] Speaker A: He does a verification. He's always a little bit older than me, but he's. He has a verification process that he does. And when he drops it on them, they already are pretty much ready to go. And they understand and they're not shocked how he does it. I don't know. I haven't really broken down his science.
For me. I like to just make sure off top. I just tell everybody off top. This is what, especially because this, and it's a, it's elements to everybody's situation that are always different. But again, I know for me, what works best is to be a friend about. Oh, I know. I was going to tell you guys. So there's, it's a book, and I'll have to text it to you because I don't remember what it is right now, but it talks about the poly lifestyle and what poly really is. But it's a term that true practitioners, I guess, of the lifestyle use called compersion. And compersion is. So when French you were talking about, you and your lady just, I guess, have explored this idea of possibly bringing someone in. But you. You were hesitant because of your reservation of what you thought it might lead to down the road with another dude. Right? So compersion is a term that speaks to, you want your partner to you. You'll sacrifice, in a sense where you are in order for your partner to be fully happy, right? But again, based upon what you're willing to sacrifice.
But she's clear. Or that part of your partner's clear on what you're sacrificing, it's not you. Which we do. In a lot of monogamous relationships, we suppress due to culture what we feel, right. Because it's taboo to talk about. Then you get that one partner who's just fed up and they're ready. And most of the time, it's the woman, right. Cause they're verbal. We're not as guys, right? We're not verbal. We're not, you know, we don't express well, right? So she'll express like, I wanna do x, y, z, you like, damn. It's like, you know. Cause you stuck in your shit. And so with compersion, though, basically, let me get back to the point. Compersion is I wanna make you happy. So whatever makes you happy, I'll do. So when you said the ego for me as me needing two women. Yeah, there's ego. We all have ego. That's not. Yeah, but I still. If she tells me. That's why I've gotten to a point to where if my woman tells me she needs to be another man, I'm like, look, you still don't come back to me. You've had dick before me. You know what I'm saying? Like, it ain't. Like it's new. Yeah. So I ain't, you know. Yeah, I ain't over here, like, putting it down. So amazing. You know, I do what I do, you know you like it. Obviously you here. You know what I'm saying? But I'm not gonna sit here and look.
[01:00:22] Speaker C: Why you turn into, like, a Boston kid? Like, I do what I do.
[01:00:24] Speaker B: I listen. I thought it was New York.
I thought it was he straight? He was straight.
[01:00:30] Speaker A: Brooklyn.
I was trying to be funny.
No, but my only point is compersion, meaning that if she says that's what she needs to be happy, but she wants to be with me, I'm cool with letting that happen without the fear of my ego of what might come down the road. I'll address that situation as we communicate and as we go down the road.
[01:00:53] Speaker D: So let's say the girls like, yo, I'm happy with you and all that, but I. For me to be 100% happy, I also need to go experience x, y, and Z with another guy. What? And then you tell her, hey, I'm a little uncomfortable with that. When does she has to do that? Same level of compersion for your feelings, just like you have to do.
[01:01:11] Speaker A: She might not. She might.
[01:01:12] Speaker D: So what, are y'all still gonna take a l then? Just like, in that what they.
[01:01:16] Speaker C: That's where the bylines of the beginning of the relationship should have dictated, right? So if he's honest in the beginning, like, yo, I'm not with that. I'm with this. This is that. I'm not with that. So if you're with that, then this might not work now.
[01:01:30] Speaker A: But. But with that being said, you're absolutely correct. But with that, if we're together for a while, right. And she grows, like we all grow, she grows into now she wants. Now it's a conversation that she can comfort, she can comfortably have. Right. And I'm willing to have that with her. Now, what we do to explore, to see if she's actually going to do it or not, that's a different, different discussion. But we're still going to do that as opposed to what happens is we block that conversation.
[01:01:53] Speaker D: You go do it.
[01:01:56] Speaker B: You better not talk about me with no.
[01:01:58] Speaker C: And then it becomes shameful.
[01:02:00] Speaker A: Exactly.
[01:02:00] Speaker C: And then it becomes shadow work.
[01:02:02] Speaker A: That's the part. That's the part.
[01:02:04] Speaker C: Listeners, I want you guys to reach out to us and, you know, ask us some questions that we can forward on to Rio or, you know, if you don't start a discussion, this seems like a topic based on the fact that you probably heard every word in this episode, which never happens on our episode, ever.
Yeah, Jimmy Mac did not talk.
[01:02:17] Speaker D: I don't think he got ADHD no.
[01:02:19] Speaker C: More, I don't think.
[01:02:23] Speaker A: Well, I appreciate y'all. You know, listen, I hope. I hope I said something worth while listening to.
[01:02:27] Speaker C: So, listeners, a definitely reach out to us, let us know if there's other questions or something else that we need to talk about around this or how you even felt about this.
Other than that, though, get on the slack.
[01:02:37] Speaker D: Start talking about it on the slack.
[01:02:38] Speaker B: Oh, for sure.
[01:02:39] Speaker C: Yeah. Okay, well, keep supporting us, keep interacting with us, and we'll keep bringing the nonsense because we realize that sometimes people just need to laugh.
[01:02:45] Speaker A: Till next time, 10% less bullshit than.
[01:02:48] Speaker B: Any other podcast, guaranteed.
